Joe Lavin

In this game, a player didn't actually score by crossing home plate. The run didn't count until he said to the umpire loudly, "Tally me, Sir!" Pitchers, or "hurlers," were not allowed to "toss deceitful curve balls or fast-moving 'speed balls'." And perhaps the strangest part of all was the lack of a strike zone. Back then, there was no such thing as a ball. Three swinging misses would result in a strikeout, but otherwise the hurler kept throwing until the batter, or "striker," found a pitch he liked, although the umpire could always warn the striker not to be too picky.

This weekend's game between the hometown Essex Base Ball Club and the Coventry Citizens from Rhode Island wasn't exactly close -- Essex won 18-10 -- but it did feature a little of everything. There was power, especially from Essex outfielder Jeff Shwom who launched a ball over the stone fence and off the top of a parked SUV for an early home run. (Admittedly, the SUV didn't exactly lend authenticity to this vintage game, but it was an exciting moment nonetheless.)

There was good fielding, although the lack of gloves certainly played a part in all the scoring. You try catching a baseball without a glove. Luckily, this ball is much softer than today's baseball -- something the owner of that SUV will appreciate -- but it still isn't easy to catch barehanded. That's probably why the rules allowed for any ball caught on one bounce to also be an out.

There were even old-fashioned uniforms and an umpire who dressed in a top hat and tails. The umpire stood to the side of home plate and could even ask for help from players or spectators. "Thank you for your honesty, Sir," he exclaimed at one point when the Essex second baseman admitted that he had not tagged the runner. Yes, it was clearly a different world back then.

The fans, or "cranks," were also encouraged to join in on the history, but with all the Red Sox caps and t-shirts in the crowd of twenty, it didn't exactly look like 1861. For any good plays, we could yell out "Huzzah," although frankly that isn't really my style. In fact, we were supposed to cheer any good play regardless of which team made it, but the crowd quickly decided to reserve their huzzahs for hometown Essex. New Englanders are nothing if not loyal.

And here's one other difference: "It is the custom of the Essex Base Ball Club that proper etiquette and decorum shall be observed. The umpire may impose a fine between ten cents and a dollar on both ballists and cranks for the use of intemperate language, ungentle criticism of a particular ballist's abilities, or any similar offense against the rules of polite society."

Frankly, I think they are being a little shortsighted here. After all, sometimes there's nothing quite like a good "Coventry sucks" chant to liven up a traditional base ball match. And imagine if the Red Sox started imposing fines like this at Fenway; the team could probably afford to sign another star pitcher from the "Yankees suck" chants alone, not to mention "the ungentle criticism" of our own ballist's abilities. ("Hey, Millar, you suck!") Then again, I don't think Yankee fans could do much better: "You want a huzzah? Yeah, I got your huzzah right here."

All in all, it may have been a little strange to watch old-fashioned base ball, but it was a fun day, so much so that I was almost tempted to play myself. Of course, then I remembered that I haven't played for fifteen years and wasn't very good when I did play. (I once managed to lose a Little League game by having a ball roll under my glove just like Bill Buckner.) And the best part of my game back then -- my uncanny ability to get hit by pitches -- wouldn't really help since hit batters don't get awarded a base in vintage ball.

Sadly, I don't think Essex would want me playing for them, especially with their current players racking up 18 runs in a match. Unless they need a vintage base ball columnist, I guess I'll just have to make do with being a crank.

April 27, 2004
Teach Yourself Losing at Billiards
Knowledge is timeless, and so when I was given a copy of Richard Holt's "Teach Yourself Billiards and Snooker," I was undaunted. So what if it was published in Great Britain in 1957? That doesn't mean that I couldn't learn something from it to improve my pool game. ( More... )