October 26, 2004
My Profound Effect on the World Series
As many of you know, baseball players are incredibly superstitious, but they've got nothing on fans. We all have our own little foibles to help get us through the games. Here then are a few items from my apartment and beyond that have been deemed lucky or unlucky during the baseball playoffs.
My "Foulke the Yankees" t-shirt - Lucky
Incidentally, this shirt was given to me by the family that trademarked the "Foulke the Yankees" slogan. Who knew you could even hold a trademark on something like this? If these people are making money on "Foulke the Yankees," you have to wonder how much money the guy who owns the "Yankees suck" slogan has made.
Wise Lightly-Salted Potato Chips - Lucky
Of course, you have to be careful with these things. Last year, during the Red Sox-Yankees series, my roommate and I thought that Shaw's Boston Crème Pie was lucky, until we stuck with it just a little too long in Game 7. We all know how that turned out. Personally, I think the Wise Lightly-Salted Potato Chips have a little more power left in them, but I'll be sure to have a quick hook in case there's any trouble.
Fruits and Vegetables - Unlucky
Beer - Lucky
Could other athletes start copying his training? I wouldn't be surprised. Beer: the new steroid. As my girlfriend who lives in Canada says, "Hey, thirty million Canadians can't be wrong."
Peanuts - Unlucky
Pacing - Indeterminate
Roommate - Unlucky
Lunar Eclipse - Indeterminate
One can only imagine how this eclipse will affect Fox's coverage. I shudder to think of their pre-game show. "Tonight, Albert Pujols and the Cardinals try to take one small step for St. Louis, while David Ortiz and the Red Sox are shooting for the moon, but how will they hit the moon when they can't even see it? Next, it's the lunar eclipse on Fox."
If somebody tries to use a telestrator on the moon, I swear I'm switching to the radio.
Pants - Lucky
Cadavers - Lucky
I don't know anything about this lucky cadaver, but personally I like to think that it's some Red Sox fan who was finally able to help his team beat the Yankees. And I just have to say that this is my absolute favorite cadaver in the entire world. In short, this cadaver rocks!
©2004 Joe Lavin
November 2, 2004
Championships: A Beginner's Guide
What will happen if the Red Sox ever win the World Series? It's a question that was finally answered last week, and surprisingly Boston is still standing. So far at least, the apocalypse has not yet arrived. God must be holding that back for when the Cubs finally win. Here, though, is a little of what to expect if your favorite sports team suddenly ends an 86-year championship drought. ( More.... )
What have I done? Somehow, I have turned my girlfriend Jody into a Boston Red Sox fan. After watching Boston's miserable loss to the New York Yankees in Game 7 of the American League Championship Series, I'm wondering if this sort of thing should be outlawed. During the disastrous eighth inning of that game, she could be heard muttering repeatedly, "I don't like this. I don't like this at all." ( More.... )