Joe Lavin

January 20, 2004

Resolution Progress Report

According to some, it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit. Coincidentally enough, the average New Year's resolution lasts twenty days, so if we could only make it one extra day with our resolutions, we might be on to something. As for me, I gave up on most of mine last week, which at least puts me ahead of the curve. And so, while most people are gearing up to break their resolutions, here's a progress report on how I'm doing this year.

I resolve not to join a gym at the start of January only to get in the way of the regulars and then drop out some twenty days later.

So far so good. Unfortunately, this has made it difficult to pursue my other resolution of getting more exercise. Usually, running is my exercise of choice, but I generally prefer to run when the temperature is not hovering around zero degrees Fahrenheit, as it has in Boston for much of this month.

I suppose I could be like my co-worker Scott, who is training for the Navy Seals and will occasionally exercise outside in sub-zero temperatures with Vaseline smeared on his face as a protection against the cold. I'd do that too except that I don't really have any Vaseline, and it seems awful cold to go down to the drug store for it. Maybe I'll give it a try when the weather warms up.

I will get more sleep.

Oh, have I ever done well on this one.

I will not drunkenly get married to Britney Spears in Las Vegas, but if I do, I will at least put on a nice pair of slacks for the ceremony.

Success. Here's one resolution I think I can keep all year.

I will not drop names like Britney Spears on my web site just to increase the traffic I get from search engines.

Okay, this one still needs some work.

I will clean my closet and throw out some clothes before my closet rod completely collapses.

As I mentioned last week, I've actually managed to throw out some clothes, though I still need to fix my closet rod before it breaks. Luckily, today, I got an e-mail about "lengthening my rod," though I think that might be about something else.

I will start a new hobby.

I've narrowed it down to either spelunking or tournament scrabble. Once I pick the hobby, I'll be sure to start right away.

I will watch less television.

With shows like My Big Fat Obnoxious FiancÚ, and The Simple Life, this has been much easier than expected.

I will finally quit smoking.

Seeing as I never started in the first place, this is my one big success story. If only I could do this well on the rest of my resolutions.

I will not videotape myself having sex with Paris Hilton.

I've been able to make it twenty days without breaking this one, and with some luck I might just be able to make it the whole year.

I will not drop names like Paris Hilton on my web site just to increase the traffic I get from search engines.

Okay, this one really needs a lot more work.

©2004 Joe Lavin

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January 13, 2004
An Embarrassment of Pants
Shortly after Christmas, I noticed that I was the proud owner of thirty dress shirts and nineteen dress pants. I'm not entirely sure how I became the Imelda Marcos of menswear. I don't even like to shop, but somehow my closet suddenly contained enough clothes to get me through several weeks without doing laundry. ( More.... )

January 6, 2004
From Professor Barnhardt's Journal
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