Joe Lavin

March 2006

From Boston Sports Review

Missing Sox


It seems just like yesterday that the Red Sox were winning the World Series. In reality, it was well over a year ago. Still, much has changed in the world for all of us since then, and over the year(s) the players who brought a championship to Boston have scattered across the country. As we approach the18-month anniversary of their championship, I thought it would be fun to catch up with those heroes from long ago and ask, "Where are they now?"

Orlando Cabrera is the shortstop for the California Anaheims of Los Angeles. While happy to play for Boston, the jovial Cabrera gladly stepped aside knowing that Boston had found a superior replacement in Edgar Renteria. Luckily, this is one organization not content to rest on its laurels, and the excellent hitting and solid fielding of Renteria clearly rubbed off on the rest of the team, making 2005 a year to remember!

Bill Mueller plays third base for the Los Angeles Dodgers with Nomar Garciaparra as his first baseman and Grady Little as his manager. From all accounts, Bill Mueller wanted to stay with the Sox, and so there was no chance that he would be back. Meanwhile, David Wells and Manny Ramirez have asked to leave, and so in all likelihood they will both remain with the team. Welcome to baseball in the 21st Century.

Derek Lowe also plays for the Dodgers. His work appears regularly in the gossip pages of The Boston Herald.

Kevin Millar now plays first base for the Baltimore Orioles, a team united with one common goal: getting new pitcher Kris Benson to cheat on his wife Anna so that she will follow through on her promise to sleep with the entire team should she ever catch her husband cheating on her. Oh, they'd also like to win occasionally too. With Kevin Millar and Anna Benson in the same organization, Oriole beat writers will surely have no shortage of material, but will there be time for anyone else to talk?

Pedro Martinez is currently celebrating his father's birthday in the Dominican Republic, although the New York Mets expect him to show up at spring training any day now.

The real Keith Foulke has not been seen since 2004. Anyone who knows his whereabouts is asked to call the Red Sox Front Office immediately.

Doug Mientkiewicz is a member of the Kansas City Royals, where there is no danger of being involved in another World Series ball controversy. Mientkiewicz has remained close to the Red Sox organization, frequently meeting with team officials in courthouses and law offices across the Commonwealth just to say hi.

Bronson Arroyo recently signed a below-market contract with the team, ensuring that he would remain in Boston for years to come. It's exactly that kind of player loyalty that the Red Sox are happy to honor and -- Oh, wait, they just traded him to Cincinnati. Never mind.

Mike Myers currently resides on the Dark Side.

Having put his condo up for sale, Manny Ramirez now lives behind the scoreboard in left field, sharing space with the equally mythical Wally the Green Monster. By the way, we asked the Red Sox and anyone who wants Ramirez is more than welcome to have him for their company softball team, provided that they are willing to pay his $20 million annual salary.

Dave Roberts now plays center field for the San Diego Padres, where he will never be loved as much as he is in Boston.

Doug Mirabelli is also in San Diego, coincidentally the same spot where most of Tim Wakefield's knuckleballs will roll to a stop now that the Red Sox have no one to catch Wakefield.

The Padres employ Mark Bellhorn and Alan Embree as well. We asked both how they were. Unfortunately, neither could hear us, as their ears were still ringing from all the booing they received last year in Boston. Having hit a dramatic game-winning World Series home run for the Red Sox in 2004, Bellhorn spoke fondly of that long five-month honeymoon, in which he could do no wrong in Boston.

I think that Theo Epstein is still the General Manager of the Red Sox, although after this past off-season I'm not entirely sure.

And finally the less said about Johnny Damon, the better.


©2006 Joe Lavin

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